In my darkest days, I desperately wanted to end my life. My condition prevented me from practising law, which made me feel incredibly depressed. I contemplated committing suicide in various ways but what worried me was that it might not be successful and I would end up worse off than I already am. Then I discovered that there is a way that you can end your life effectively and with dignity. As featured in the book and movie Me Before You, the Swiss organisation Dignitas enables people to end their life with a lethal injection. However, if you have psychiatric issues, this avenue becomes quite difficult. This is so typical of the law. As discussed previously, it’s very circular. To add to that, it always traps you! While I have made the decision to learn to live with and accommodate my condition as best I can, I feel frustrated that this avenue is blocked for a lot of people who suffer from schizophrenia. Many people have told me that it's not the end of the world, but they don't suffer from it themselves and really know what it's like to live with it on a day to day basis.
If members (or ex-members like me) of the international arbitration community wanted to end their lives in this manner, I wonder if they would end up writing their own psychiatric report. Most experts are absolutely hopeless. Moreover, the patient is in a far better position to explain what is in their mind than anyone else, including a psychiatrist.
I’ve had to learn how to laugh again. And that includes laughing about my condition. No matter what happens to you in life, you certainly don’t want to lose your sense of humour.