Procrastination is the act of putting off or postponing something we have to do.  How often in life do we keep putting things off when we know they are good for us and we ought to do them.  One of my favourite examples at the moment is how I put off exercising in the morning until the afternoon because it’s too cold to get out of bed.

If, like me, you have developed the habit of procrastinating, here are some tips for tackling unwanted tasks.

o   Acknowledge that you have been procrastinating and need to take drastic action to get the task done
o   From the outset, it is important to develop a positive mindset.  Often we procrastinate because we find something difficult to do.  By developing an optimistic can-do attitude, we put ourselves in the best position to get the job done.  You might find it helpful to read my previous blog post on overcoming obstacles to help develop a more positive mindset.  Let go of any negative thoughts such as “I should have done this sooner” or “why did I put this off for so long?”.  Today is a brand new day. The future is much brighter now that you are taking action and doing a task or turning your mind to something that you have been avoiding for some time. 
o   Remember that the hardest thing can sometimes be to start to do something.  Once you are in the middle of it, you become focussed on finishing the task
o   The next step is to write yourself a task list of all the things you need to get done
o   Prioritise your task list in order of urgency/importance
o   Set yourself a realistic time frame for completing your tasks
o   Work out what challenges your tasks present and come up with a plan for overcoming any obstacles you may encounter.  If you need help from someone, don’t hesitate to ask.  Most people will only be too happy to give you a hand if you need it
o   Try to focus on the task and eliminate any distractions, such as technology, social media etc, so you can concentrate on getting through it
o   Find ways of making difficult tasks enjoyable, or at least more bearable.  For example, if you dread ironing, listen to music in the background while you do it
o   One little tip that a friend gave me the last time we spoke was to do the thing you dread the most or find hardest to do first. If you get the worst task out of the way first, it will all be downhill from there!
o   To encourage yourself to complete tasks you are avoiding, think of the consequences of not getting them done
o   Make yourself accountable to someone else by telling them about the task that you need to do. 
o   Recognise your accomplishment.  Make sure you reward yourself for having completed a difficult exercise. 
o   Try to establish good habits for the future.  Having avoided doing something for so long, make sure that task becomes a regular habit so you remain on top of it

In addition to suffering from schizophrenia, I also suffer from depression.  I’d like to open up a bit more about this condition as it’s something that is quite common, and much more common than schizophrenia.  A young Finance lawyer I worked with at Bell Gully and later at Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer who suffered from depression later took his own life by jumping from the roof of his firm in Sydney.  I’m therefore a keen advocate of being open about depression and encouraging more dialogue so we can hopefully prevent this kind of situation from recurring.  Often people keep things bottled up inside, especially mental illness, because they’re afraid of what other people might think of them.  But remember you’re not alone.  Chances are your friends have experienced problems of their own, or at least have family members or know other people who have.  People are often much more sympathetic and understanding than you think!

What is depression? 
The best way I can explain depression is that it’s like a dark cloud that’s always hanging over your head which doesn’t go away.  Depression causes you to lose interest and pleasure in every day activities that you might otherwise enjoy, such as working, exercising, cooking and eating.  For some people, it can be worse in winter.  This is caused seasonal affective disorder. 

It’s important to distinguish between sorrow and depression.  In life, sadness is a normal and natural emotion.  You can’t be happy all the time.  It is natural to experience extreme grief when a loved one passes away.  With depression, however, it is a question of degree.  If the sadness doesn’t subside, you might need to see your GP in the first instance.  If he or she feels it is necessary, you might be referred on to a specialist.

How is depression treated? 
Your doctor might prescribe tablets to help you deal with depression.  Personally, they don’t work for me.  The reason is because they don’t address the root of the problem, that is, what is causing the depression.  It is my belief that in order to treat depression, it is necessary to address the underlying cause of the problem.  Therapy can be helpful in this regard, as it can take some exploring in order to work out exactly what is making you feel depressed.  I saw a psychologist for a number of sessions and found this incredibly useful in terms of discovering what was bothering me. 

Be aware though that even if you identify what is causing you to be depressed, it may be something over which you have no control and you may therefore not be able to prevent it.

Like other conditions, depression can be multi-causal and there may be several factors contributing to it. 

Depression can also be linked to other health conditions.   The human body is complex and you can’t look at things in isolation. For example, I also suffer from diabetes.  For me, the two are linked.  When I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I felt incredibly depressed.  Also, when I suffer from depression, it places stress on my body and elevates my blood sugar levels.

Ways that you can combat depression
First of all, take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone.  It can be quite surprising who suffers from depression.  This includes people who are beautiful, smart and intelligent.  Sufferers include high achievers and often leaders in their field.

It sounds like a cliché, but it’s all in the mind.  Click here to read what I have written on this subject.  Depression is a state of mind.  To get out of this state, you need to take control of your mind.   Filter out any negative thoughts.  I have had to work very hard to flip things around and put a positive spin on things, or at least look at things from a pragmatic perspective.  
 
Try not to ruminate about the past.  Take comfort in the fact that you probably did the best you could in the circumstances and made the best decisions you could based on what you knew at the time and how you were feeling.  Could have, should have and would have is not very helpful, as you can’t turn back the clock and re-do what you have already done.

Learn to go with the flow. Life doesn’t exactly go according to plan, so don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t achieve everything you wanted in life.  I always imagined myself being a senior associate at a big law firm at the very least, and felt really down when having schizophrenia made this impossible. However, I have managed to keep things in perspective.  Stepping away from the legal profession has made me think more laterally.  I would have never come up with the idea of In the Circle while working within the legal profession, much less executed my idea.  Sometimes you don’t get exactly what you want, but you can get something even better in the long run.

Don’t forget that everyone has problems.  It may appear that other people are happier or have better lives than yours but don’t forget that life is full of challenges for everyone.  Things are merely a matter of perception and if people appear happier, it’s probably because they have developed a good and healthy attitude towards life and its challenges.

More tips to combat depression
There are a number of activities that can help ease depression.  Personally, I have found gardening very therapeutric.  It is gratifying to see something that I’ve grown from seed come to fruition.  John Kirwan advocates cooking to beat the blues.  I find that having a pet helps with depression.  About a year and a half ago, we adopted a stray cat in our neighbourhood.  She is incredibly affectionate and never leaves my side.  I also find that exercise helps with depression.  Fresh air is good.  I highly recommend walking or running.  Having a gym membership can help as well.  You’ll be surrounded by other people while exercising, which should lift your spirits.

Make sure that you surround yourself with positive, supportive people.  Don’t let other people put you down.  This might mean that you need to eliminate negative people from your life, or at least limit contact with them.  Personally, I try not to see my close friends when I feel really depressed, as I don’t want to burden them with my problems.

Get some sunshine.  You’ll feel so much better and as a bonus, you’ll get some Vitamin D, too.

Learn to laugh, even inspite of your condition.  This will also make you feel so much better and you’ll feel like you can deal with life again. If you’re struggling to see the funny side of life, see a light-hearted movie. 

I would like to offer some further thoughts on coping with a mental illness.  As I have explored in the first series of posts in this section, you have to work very hard to train the mind and flip everything around so you look at things from a positive, or at least a pragmatic perspective.  Often you have to rely on your mind and think your way out of your problems, or perceived troubles!


If you suffer from a mental illness, there is a high chance that others will find out about it.  This is the nature of living in a community where you are surrounded by other people.  Others will notice changes in your behaviour and you will have to account for any absences such as time off work or periods spent in hospital. During a particularly acute phase of illness, I was hospitalised.  Fortunately, this has only occurred in one instance to date, as I was able to be cared for at home the rest of the time.  The receptionist who works at the mental health ward of the hospital I was staying at told a lot of people in the Indian community about my hospital admission and condition.  When I recovered, I felt so humiliated, because having a mental illness attracts so much stigma amongst Indian people, especially when you’re a woman.  Not to mention that any chances of getting married to anyone within the community were completely ruined.  But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why I was so worried about what they thought about me.  To them, I’ve always been a piece of trash anyway.  Mum was raised moslem and Dad was raised Hindu, so I’m neither here nor there.  I’ve never really been accepted by other Indian people for this very reason.  I didn’t really have much of a chance of getting married to anyone within the Indian community, even without a mental illness.  That made me feel much better and I was able to dispose of any shame I felt in this regard quite easily.


Despite my earlier title of “it’s all in the mind”, I’d like to correct myself.  It’s not quite all in the mind.  The soul, or human spirit, is important too, in learning to live with a mental illness and in life at large.  My multiple conditions – schizophrenia (including slight bipolar), depression and diabetes – really threw me into the fire.  I felt like my spirit had died, I had lost my sense of humour and I could never be happy again.  For years I knew I had to sort my shit out but I just couldn’t pull myself together.  Over time, I discovered that the mind, body and soul are all rather extraordinary and have a tremendous capacity to heal.  Whether you believe in the fact that humans possess a soul or spirit, surely everyone must believe in inner strength which emanates from within.  This is what enables us to pull ourselves together and get back on our feet again after our defeats.  I consider this one of my greatest allies, along with the strong support of my parents and friends, in my journey through mental illness to date.  It is this which gives me the power to think, to feel and to believe.  This brings me back to the positive mantra which I have forced myself to develop, that I am determined to deal with the obstacles that my mental illness presents.

In my darkest days, I desperately wanted to end my life.  My condition prevented me from practising law, which made me feel incredibly depressed.  I contemplated committing suicide in various ways but what worried me was that it might not be successful and I would end up worse off than I already am.  Then I discovered that there is a way that you can end your life effectively and with dignity.  As featured in the book and movie Me Before You, the Swiss organisation Dignitas enables people to end their life with a lethal injection.  However, if you have psychiatric issues, this avenue becomes quite difficult.  This is so typical of the law.  As discussed previously, it’s very circular.  To add to that, it always traps you!  While I have made the decision to learn to live with and accommodate my condition as best I can, I feel frustrated that this avenue is blocked for a lot of people who suffer from schizophrenia.  Many people have told me that it's not the end of the world, but they don't suffer from it themselves and really know what it's like to live with it on a day to day basis.  


If members (or ex-members like me) of the international arbitration community wanted to end their lives in this manner, I wonder if they would end up writing their own psychiatric report.  Most experts are absolutely hopeless.  Moreover, the patient is in a far better position to explain what is in their mind than anyone else, including a psychiatrist. 


I’ve had to learn how to laugh again.  And that includes laughing about my condition.  No matter what happens to you in life, you certainly don’t want to lose your sense of humour.

Opening up about my health conditions, while deeply personal in nature, enables me to leave a legacy for others, especially those who I don’t know.  This is particularly important for me as I don't have a lot of money to leave behind.  As discussed in my last post, there is a great deal of stigma attached to mental illness.  I’m certainly not popular among health professionals in terms of the treatment plan I have decided to follow, but I think this comes down to the fact that we view the field of medicine very differently.  To me, the discipline of medicine is a construct, much like law or history.  This means that it was created and has evolved over time; it isn’t a given.  Indeed, there is always new research into different illnesses and the development of drugs to treat them.  Drugs are artificial substances which react differently among patients and they do contain side effects.  If you suffer from several conditions like me, you may find that you’re better off without them because they can cause even more problems.  I’m fortunate that I’m able to manage my conditions most of the time without medication, but I acknowledge that others may not be so lucky.  Going back to the point I made in a previous blog post, medicine is governed by the field of law.  Patients do have rights, including the right not to take medication.  But in some circumstances, the state may intervene and impose a treatment plan on the individual out of necessity.
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In my last post, I opened up about the three conditions that I suffer from: (i) mild schizophrenia with some bipolar; (ii) depression; and (iii) type 2 diabetes.  In this post, I’d like to share a bit more of my journey which may give some hope to other sufferers of these conditions and their families. 


By comparison with other conditions such as cancer, mental illness has a lot of stigma attached to it.  Being diagnosed with schizophrenia caused me to lose my dignity and really affected my self esteem.  Being hand-cuffed by the police when I went wandering around the neighbourhood during a psychotic episode was very humiliating.  I began to really hate myself, especially after I was hospitalised after this particularly bad psychotic episode.  Eventually, I realised that I can no longer carry so much shame for something which isn’t my fault. This was the key to setting me free.  I’ve learnt to look back and laugh about some of my experiences, even though they weren’t even remotely funny at the time. My experiences have brought me down a notch or two.  Some humility isn’t necessarily such a bad thing.


Like many people who suffer from schizophrenia, I am single.  Relationships are difficult enough without bringing mental illness into it.  The key point is that instead of looking for someone to love me and accept my condition, I need to learn how to love myself inspite of my condition.​  Managing my condition is all-consuming so I came to the conclusion that I'm better off alone.