In my last entry back in December, I mentioned that I had reduced the frequency of personal training from weekly to six weekly as I wanted to motivate myself more on my fitness journey. December was an interesting month for me. I did well in some ways, exercising every day and losing 2 kg over Christmas, but then I promptly put it back on after binging on junk food. After that, I managed to get myself back on track and in the past ten days have managed to lose 2.1 kg. However, that painful lesson taught me that perhaps I need greater accountability than just to myself. I got back in touch with my trainer Alice from Les Mills Howick and asked if she had an afternoon slot at the same time every week so I could start our weekly training sessions again. Luckily she was very keen for me to get back into it so I will be seeing her on Thursdays at 2 pm from now on. I’m not sure if I will weigh every week when I see Alice. I might have to defer to her expert opinion on whether this is a good idea.
So I now stand at 87.2 kg. I have a long road ahead of me. My goal weight isn’t 70 kg. I actually want to get down to 60 kg, which I haven’t been since my early thirties when I used to go to True Woman’s Gym in Manukau. Is it achievable? I hope so. I have to believe it is. I know that it will be hard, so I have broken it up into a series of mini goals. My first milestone will be to get down to 80 kg. From there the next mini goal is 70 kg. After that, will be the challenging goal to get down to 60 kg.
Over the past week I haven’t been so good at recording my food intake (despite managing to lose 2.1 kg). Also I have been eating a lot of delicious summer stone fruit, which I need to keep in moderation as fruit contains quite a bit of sugar. I want to go back to My Fitness Pal and record what I eat, which helped during my first fitness journey with Les Mills back in 2018 (actually this was the second fitness journey with Les Mills, the first being when I joined them back in 2015 after they took over from All Seasons). I don’t like that my life has turned into a cycle of losing weight, regaining it, joining and leaving gyms and I am working very hard to change this. I know I don’t have the best relationship with food, something which I’m also working hard to change especially since I can’t continue to binge on sugary foods every time the cravings take over me as it’s bad for my diabetes. I think I’m struggling with things that a lot of people are so I take heart in that. It’s not easy to get out of bad habits and make long-term lifestyle changes but I’m determined to do it, and I’m not confident that this time I’ll get it right. I’m sure there will be times I fall off the wagon and need to get back on the horse again, and I’m willing to swallow my pride and return to the gym heavier, having eaten badly as I have in the past. What I can’t lose is my positive can-do attitude which I started the New Year with. No matter how far I am into 2020 and how I feel things have gone, I simply have to get back on my feet. It’s not just fitness goals that are weight related – some day I do dream of being fit enough to tackle the Abel Tasman National Park and do the Routeburn with Ultimate Hikes. Some of my broader life goals, including my career, depend on me losing weight and in the future if I manage to do this and make progress in these other areas of my life I am excited to be able to share them with you. For now though, they seem very far off but every time I feel daunted by the enormity of my fitness journey I reflect on them and trawl the web for related sites, so I don’t lose sight of my goals.
Wherever you are on your fitness journey, may I commend you for being on one for a start. It is the first step on a long and difficult road. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I wish you all the best with your fitness and life goals for 2020.
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